Olivia's Homebirth Story with Homerton Hospital Homebirth Team

As I write, it’s nine months to the day since I gave birth to my daughter Celandine at home with Jimena as my doula and the Homerton Home Birthing Team. It is proving to be a natural day of reflection on that experience and I at last have a moment to share our birth story:

They say you’ll forget. 

They say you’ll forget. 

Maybe the searing intensity of hurt; the feelings of hopelessness; the ‘I cannot do this’ of transition; the fist slamming against the wall and the swearing out loud in pain, perhaps all of that. But the beauty? The tenderness? The togetherness? I wonder how you could forget the completely unforgettable? 

Though I’m not entirely sure why, having a home birth wasn’t something I had initially ever considered for a first labour, but my brother and sister in law had just had their third child at home in Hackney with Jimena’s (our doula) support and recommended we consider it. I feel very grateful to them for opening our eyes to the fact that home birth was an option we could aim for. 

After our first session with Jimena I decided to transfer to Homerton Homebirthing team and was assigned into the care of Harriet, who was our midwife from the first hour long consult right through to the full twenty eight hours of labour.

My experience of the labour itself was completely different than I had expected. I was convinced I was going to be well overdue, that I’d be having to navigate inductions and interventions, that when it finally started it would be a slow and sporadic beginning, that I would be going for a walk to try and encourage it to progress, that I would be able to let people know that it was happening. Instead I woke up at 2.30am at 40+4 with contractions that started the same as they stayed throughout: 3 in 10, regular and intensely painful. 

We were in touch with our doula and Homerton Homebirth the team throughout the day, Francine (another homebirth midwife) came to drop off some equipment around 12pm. At 4pm we invited our doula Jimena, who arrived as a very welcome additional support, bringing with her a different dimension of knowledge and a connection to more primordial energy. 

The curtains were closed all day but I could still feel the sun coming through, bathing the bedroom in a honeyed glow. It didn’t take away from the glow of pain I was feeling though and fueled only by sips of water and teaspoons of honey, I was definitely finding it hard by now. 

At 9pm one midwife came. We had agreed that she would just say whether she would be staying or going and she said she was going to leave. I knew that this meant I was still in early labour.

At this point Rob, having been with me since the beginning, went for a rest. I was feeling in need of some relief from the pain so trusting in being in the safe hands of my mum and Jimena I got into the birthing pool they had been filling. I found this to be incredibly mentally soothing but it was physically still very intense so I got out to try some different positions, beginning to question whether it would be possible for me to continue like this. I now know these thoughts to be an indicator of transition. 

Together with my doula and my mum we discussed my options. I feel very lucky that whilst I had been definite about hoping to start and stay at home, I had always felt extremely open to other outcomes. It was only that knowing that just two hours ago I had not been very dilated and that if I journeyed into hospital I might be turned back, that I decided to try the pool again. 

Very quickly I felt the overwhelming surges of my body beginning to push. I worried that I was going to do myself some harm, thinking it was unlikely I would have fully dilated in such a short time. At 1am, my fears were compounded when I felt a pop and heard a gushing sound. I really thought I had broken my cervix, though of course in reality it was my waters that had broken.

Sensing a shift, Jimena woke up Rob and called Harriet. Even though she must have thought it was unlikely that I would be any further established, and was no doubt exhausted from a full day on shift, she came and quickly confirmed that I could finally submit to this new sensation. This felt like a huge relief and I found this stage much more manageable. Gone was the acuteness of pain, replaced by the awe of a machine working exactly as it was meant to.

Well almost. There had been some meconium in the water, but feeling fully informed and enabled by paramedics being on standby, Rob and I made the decision to stay at home. Whilst we felt comfortable knowing that at any sign of the baby in distress we would make the move to hospital.

I had assumed that at this point it wouldn’t be long until our baby arrived. Six hours later and I was still pushing, Harriet still checking baby’s heartbeat. 

Not long after both midwifes had arrived and from here on in, it feels only right to use ‘we’ as it felt like a truly team effort. At no point to diminish what was occurring inside my own body, I really don’t feel like I could take sole credit for our daughter’s arrival. Trying all sorts of techniques, from ancient indigenous methods with a Rebozo, to acrobatic squats and lunges, to medical interventions and guided pushing we all worked together to bring Celandine earthside. 

At every single point Rob was with me, almost as though we had become merged into one single four legged creature. For me, that is one of the most magical things about our birth story, facilitated by our midwifes, Jimena and my mum, we were able to bring our daughter into the world together. She was conceived together and she was born together at 6.20am between both of our legs, as I stood up, leaning on him, held by him. 

I have no doubt that having him able to be so actively involved was incredibly bonding for us as a family. My partner and I had gone to bed the night before having spent the entire evening laughing and after her arrival we laughed in disbelief, not quite comprehending that we had done it. We were so in shock, we didn’t even think to find out her if she was a boy or a girl until after she had had a good while of skin to skin.

The placenta was delivered physiologically and not needing any stitches by 8am we were left to bask in the light of an extended golden morning.

They say you’ll forget. Maybe the searing intensity of hurt; the feelings of hopelessness; the ‘I cannot do this’ of transition; the fist slamming against the wall and the swearing out loud in pain, perhaps all of that. But the beauty? The tenderness? The togetherness? I wonder how you could forget the completely unforgettable? 

I feel incredibly lucky to have had such a positive and powerful birth experience. I will remain forever grateful to Jimena, our amazing doula and to the incredible Home Birthing team for their part in my daughter’s entry to the world.

Lulu's Freebirth at their beautiful home in E17 Walthamstow, London

At my 10 week appointment the midwife asked me how I wanted my birth to be. And I said ‘I have no idea, it’s not something I’d even thought about?’ I just looked forward to the 12 weeks mark with a healthy baby and to listen to their heartbeat. She said: ‘You have 3 options: in the labour ward, birth centre or a home birth.

At that point I wasn’t even considering having a Homebirth.

The first book that was recommended to me was a book by Red Miller, ‘From fear to love’ which started me on the path to having an alternative non hospitalised birth. And that there is an option of autonomy in the way we birth. The second book I read was given to me to a client Siobhan Miller called ‘practical ways to make your birth better’ which helped me getting in the right head space to do work on myself and be in a better place for birth. This was when Homebirth felt like a real option to me. My baby’s due date was the start of January. And being dragged to the hospital in deepest winter an to most likely go through an unnecessary cascade of interventions didn’t seem like the best option and way more scary!

For me, it felt the better headspace I was in and the calmer the setting the better birth was going to go. The next step was moving house and this new home felt like the right energy for the home birth.

Freebirth made sense

“being dragged to the hospital in deepest winter an to most likely go through an unnecessary cascade of interventions didn’t seem like the best option and way more scary!”

By then I read Ina May Gaskin’s guide to childbirth. Timely evidence of women birthing beautifully on their own without medical interventions. Then we decided to find a doula / birthkeeper to support us on our journey.

After searching and contacting Carly @bestbirthcompany who I knew through friends, but wasn’t available she led us to Jime @woomly

On our first meeting Jime said how she really supported freebirth, and that led me to think that it might be an even better option for me than just a Homebirth since I would have the intervention of the midwifes, and my birth will more likely be totally physiological. I didn’t want someone in my birth space that was risk adverse, purely because of protocols and time frames, so freebirth make sense. I had the back up of a Homebirth team set up, and the hospital is really close, so if a real emergency occurred I could go into the hospital at any point.

The fourth and final book was the one Jime gave me which was ‘Home birth on your own terms’ by Heather Baker. Which really gave me that last bit of confidence to birth at home.

Along with our sessions with her; working through fears, visualisations and affirmations giving myself more preparation. On one of our sessions she read me and my partner the ‘holistic stages of birth’ which was such a beautiful way to see the journey of the birthing woman.

When the day arrived, I’d done so much work on pain relief that I didn’t quite believe that I was on my early stage of labour so me and my partner went shopping and even contemplated going into the pub. I wondered why I had to stop to take some deep breaths as my legs shuddered I went though the canned food shelves.

That evening the surges continued but I still didn’t think they where strong enough to feel like I was in labour. It definitely felt a heavier weight down but not unmanageable. The evening was really chilled, my partner made dinner and we watched a film which we had to stop a few times whilst I breathed through surges. We also messaged our doula and told her it had kind of started and it might be in the next few days.

As the evening progressed more surges came, at 11 my boyfriend ran me a bath and we had beautiful meditation music. I was in the bath for an hour and had 6 surges but they still didn’t feel painful or strong enough to declare that it was actual labour. I did have to breath deeply and concentrate on what my body was doing.

We got into bed and Dave massaged me which felt like such a pressure release. We turned the lights out and thought we’d get as much rest as we could and took a couple of paracetamol. The sleep didn’t come but the surges did! I wasn’t aware of how much time have passed but by around 2 I asked Dave how often and how long where my contractions. He said every 3 mins and lasting about 30/40 seconds, I turned to him and said that that was active labour!

Dave messaged Jime and started setting up the pool whilst I was riding the waves. As Dave was setting up the pool I’d call him back in to hold my hand since the surges started to feel more intense. At this pint I’d mainly had my eyes closed and started to drift into another place. Jime arrived at 3 and I was in the middle of a surge when she arrived. When she came in my bedroom we had a little chat and another surge came. I asked Jime to attach the tens machine which helped getting a little pressure off as things got more intense. As things got more intense rocking back and forth felt like a really good position to be in. The whole time the Indian meditation music was playing in the background and it felt very primal.

After a few particularly strong surges I threw up. I was unaware but Jime was reassuring Dave and saying that it might not be too long to meet Bodhi.

Jime suggested the shower head on my back and as I was getting into the smallest room in house I realised I wasn’t going to get any further and went on one knee. I started to feel really heavy pressure and felt for his head, as well I felt the water sack. From everything I had read if I could delay and steady them coming out it can mean less or no tearing so I said ‘go back up’ and steadied his head which was still in the sac. After two or three surges I was ready and that’s when Bodhi came out, waters breaking as he was coming out. And we heard a huge scream on arrival which was a huge relieve. Since we’ve done all our preparation with resuscitation seen him breath and cry was a relief.

Then I transfer to the bed, had lots of skin to skin time, oxytocin, etc. The next step was having the patience for the placenta to be birthed and for him to feed. After 6.5 hours and some rest Bodhi had his first feed, not long after that the placenta was born. My boyfriend made some placenta prints and Jime gave me my first placenta smoothie. Whilst I stayed in bed marvelled by this amazing creature I just freebirthed.

The sense of achievement after birth was just incredible and mind blowing. I feel so grateful that I got this amazing experience! I’m so happy 😀 all of the things through the pregnancy, the books I read, the advice I chose to listen and not listen to. The unwavering love and support from my partner and the deep meditations we did throughout pregnancy and finally having a beautiful birthkeeper and doula in this journey. They all play their part to give me the strength to have this experience.